i don't look good naked. it's not that i don't look perfect. i look bad.
clothed, i look pretty good. i'm tall, large breasts, smaller waist, larger hips...voluptuous. men think i'm sexy, and i am. underneath those clothes though, it's lumps and bumps and sag. i'm over 50, i've lost 150 lbs., i've had two children. and i'm single, which makes things worse cuz i feel like it's going to be hard for any guy to love this body. so this stresses me out big time.
the biggest stress for me is, i'm in a long distance relationship. and he's younger than me. we've met each other before through work. we worked for the same company in different countries. we spent a few weeks together on a work thing and became really close friends. there was something there but neither of us acted on it for several reasons that are irrelevant. anyway we've kept in touch over the phone and skype and over 8 years (yes 8) things have changed and we have become even closer. we have very strong feelings for each other, have said "i love you". we realize we need to spend time together romantically to see where this can go, and we both want it go to to a place where we are together as a couple. so we are planning to spend a month together later this year. so you see where this is going.
OMG i am so worried he's going to see me naked and want to run for the hills! seriously. i have told him about my anxiety but i really believe he thinks i'm just being a silly, insecure woman about it. he tells me we aren't superficial and the meeting of minds is the most important thing and everything else fades so not to worry about it. and i appreciate and respect that. but i'm afraid he has no idea as to the extent of my imperfection. i told him i've lost a lot of weight and he knows my age and that i've had children but i really think he has no experience with this so has no idea.
he thinks i'm intelligent, kind, compassionate, funny, interesting... and i am all those things. he also thinks i'm gorgeous and sexy. and i am with my clothes on! i have more to offer than my body, yes, but i know this is important to men and i get that. i'm happy to do what it takes to look good in the bedroom, such as dress up, lingerie, candles, whatever....
i know some will think, oh if he loves you he'll accept you for the way you are. which if it wasn't so freaking extreme i would think the same. i feel guilty. why shouldn't have a hottie? he's only 40. what if my extreme imperfection is too much for him to overlook? we will both be broken. i don't want that to happen to either of us. my self esteem couldn't take it and i don't want either of us to be hurt. so i'm seriously thinking of telling him now how bad it is and giving him the opportunity to end it amicably if he isn't sure, to be fair to him.
so...that's my story. what does anyone think of this?
clothed, i look pretty good. i'm tall, large breasts, smaller waist, larger hips...voluptuous. men think i'm sexy, and i am. underneath those clothes though, it's lumps and bumps and sag. i'm over 50, i've lost 150 lbs., i've had two children. and i'm single, which makes things worse cuz i feel like it's going to be hard for any guy to love this body. so this stresses me out big time.
the biggest stress for me is, i'm in a long distance relationship. and he's younger than me. we've met each other before through work. we worked for the same company in different countries. we spent a few weeks together on a work thing and became really close friends. there was something there but neither of us acted on it for several reasons that are irrelevant. anyway we've kept in touch over the phone and skype and over 8 years (yes 8) things have changed and we have become even closer. we have very strong feelings for each other, have said "i love you". we realize we need to spend time together romantically to see where this can go, and we both want it go to to a place where we are together as a couple. so we are planning to spend a month together later this year. so you see where this is going.
OMG i am so worried he's going to see me naked and want to run for the hills! seriously. i have told him about my anxiety but i really believe he thinks i'm just being a silly, insecure woman about it. he tells me we aren't superficial and the meeting of minds is the most important thing and everything else fades so not to worry about it. and i appreciate and respect that. but i'm afraid he has no idea as to the extent of my imperfection. i told him i've lost a lot of weight and he knows my age and that i've had children but i really think he has no experience with this so has no idea.
he thinks i'm intelligent, kind, compassionate, funny, interesting... and i am all those things. he also thinks i'm gorgeous and sexy. and i am with my clothes on! i have more to offer than my body, yes, but i know this is important to men and i get that. i'm happy to do what it takes to look good in the bedroom, such as dress up, lingerie, candles, whatever....
i know some will think, oh if he loves you he'll accept you for the way you are. which if it wasn't so freaking extreme i would think the same. i feel guilty. why shouldn't have a hottie? he's only 40. what if my extreme imperfection is too much for him to overlook? we will both be broken. i don't want that to happen to either of us. my self esteem couldn't take it and i don't want either of us to be hurt. so i'm seriously thinking of telling him now how bad it is and giving him the opportunity to end it amicably if he isn't sure, to be fair to him.
so...that's my story. what does anyone think of this?
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